The 21st century has transformed the definition of relationships and marriage. As stated by renowned psychotherapist, Esther Perel, earlier in relationships and marriages, we had one partner for a lifetime and currently we have one partner at a given time. The modern woman has changed with the gift of freedom and independence. She defines herself more with her goals and aspirations than simply marriage. This exposure has led to physical, social, emotional and financial independence. Marriages are not seen as merely a union for reproduction and evolution but as a means to live life with a companion.
Women and Men choose their sexual partners on the level of their emotional connect. The modern era of social media has made the world smaller and one connects to their soul mate with the click of a button. Pre-martial counseling takes into account these wants and desires of the individual and weighs the pros and cons of relationships before the individual makes a lifetime commitment. Couples that have been dating choose to discuss their differences and work on their conflicts before they formally and legally take the vow.
Married couples seek counseling for issues related to work-life balance, sexual incompatibility, extra-martial affairs and interpersonal conflicts. Couples in the Indian culture may still live in joint families set-ups. Adjustment issues and power and communication struggles are common themes that are highlighted. Moreover, adapting to standard norms and patterns of another person (or people) may be especially difficult when one marries across cities and countries. Interpersonal difficulties may exist when one partner is not as expressive as the other. Most people in therapy often quote that they believed in “opposites attract” and “I thought he would change post marriage.” However as reality sets in, one realizes how difficult it is to change personalities.
Sex remains a largely taboo topic. Indian men and women still find it difficult to express their desire and wants with regard to sex. Anger leads to a break down in not only the physical bonding but also a complete shutdown in communication.
With most couples now choosing to live independently the dependency and expectations on the spouse may exceed more than what is otherwise perceived as realistic. For example the woman is an earning member, mother, wife and a daughter-in law and she chooses to excel in most roles until she finally reaches a breaking point. Marital counseling is about forgiving, letting go and rekindling the bonds. Therapeutic goals in marital counselling are about helping the couples highlight the strengths in the relationship and change the negative patterns for a harmonious bond.
Divorces can be traumatic and marital counseling helps individuals to adequately and amicably resolve issues especially when kids are involved. Martial counseling is not about changing the other but it’s about communicating, sharing and healing the hurt and pain that may have been caused in the journey of life. The goal of marriage counseling is unconditionally accepting the significant other without being judgmental and moving towards the hope of a brighter future.
Call me – Shrradha Sidhwani – experienced certified psychologist in Bandra West, Mumbai with more than 15 years of experienced in helping with marital and pre-marital counselling and. Call me on 9920812638 or contact via website for psychological help.
Allow me to nurture, while you walk the path.